Went to church yesterday, and played the organ. Whee, although people told me they enjoyed my music, I thought it needed -serious- improvement. But am happy to play at church every week.
Went to church this morning as well, and had a nice chat with Debby. After talking to her, I realised how dependent I had been on the past, that I had neglected to see that I wasn't putting in effort in building friendships now, and my life has been kinda like a mess.
I was going to commit my time, my energy, my life into something I believed so strongly in, but yet, was so empty and non-exsistent. My surreal wonderland turned out to be an empty pursuit at elusive happiness. I need to rethink my life, need to set new aims and goals for myself, because I was so ready to sacrifice the rest of my life for something that wasn't mine, and am feeling pretty lost now without proper motivation in life.
So I've come up with a short list...
To study hard, and be a good doctor, to fulfill my responsibilities to my parents and patients.
To care for my family
To care for my friends
To care for all those who are lonely, sad, weary, depressed. To be there for them, make them feel cared for, feel loved for who they are, because everyone wants to feel cared for and loved.
And to remind them that no matter how down they are, how much they are suffering, God is always there for them, even though His presence may not be that evident. He's probably working through me to provide solace and comfort for them, and is using these challenges in life to strengthen them.
Some personal goals are to learn and perfect some performance pieces, as well as jog and exercise more often!
Yup yup. These are about it for now. They do make my life alittle clearer, and as much as I want to commit to that search for elusive happiness, I know it's just not worth it. I have so much more to do with my life.
