Mood: Extremely Depressed

Today is a depressing day. Not sure which subset of depression, but I'm pretty sure it's related to severe dysthymic disorder. Chronic, lingering, ongoing. I have no idea why.

Sure like hell doesn't seem to affect you, you're having a fucking good time yourself.

I don't even know why it's hurting so bad. Is it because I find myself non-existant in your eyes, is it because I've lost a best friend, is it because you don't care anymore, is it because you promised so much, but gave so little?

Am I a liability now, some fragment of the past you want to sweep under the carpet to lie hidden from the view of guests?

I'm not sure if I'm angry or frustrated, I'm not even sure if there's any point in what I'm feeling. And I'm not sure why.

Why? So many questions, so many answers, so few that make sense.

-Whatever-

Ingle Farm Church

Visited Sara's church again on Sunday morning, and I baked cookies for all the little children! There are so many of them, all playfully running around, and all really adorable. I'm feeling slightly more accepted into the church, and was invited to lunch next week at someone's house, but I guess it's still quite a long way more before I can start making good friends there.

Sometimes, I feel so alone.

So Alone.

PBL was boring today, with rapid and extremely dynamic discussion provided by all the locals. Sometimes, I think my brain is too slow to keep up with them, I'm still processing what Jess said, when Bianca, Maddie and Rob had already replied. [Lag x4]
I need a brain speed upgrade. I need RAM upgrade. I need memory upgrade.
Anyone has spare neurons to give me?

Melbourne Day 3, 4 & 5

Went to St. Pauls Cathedral, this really huge catholic cathedral just behind Parliment house. It was an amazing experience just to step into it, beholding the gigantic pipe organ, the magnificent marble alter, shading my eyes from the brilliant light streaming through the myraid of colours on the stained glass, each depicting a scene in Jesus' life and the wonderful angels that populate the heavens. Beautiful place.










Met up and ate delicious pasta at Sofia with Viven and Audrey, my JC classmates (yayy!!), went shopping at Queen Victoria market with Myintzu, was brought around the docklands by Ryan and June (view of the city skyline was stunningly beautiful and really classy, looks much like Singapore's Boat Quay and Esplanade), and savoured pizza, pasta and gelato at Lygon Street with Jia Min.















It was great meeting all of them again!

Melbourne Day 1 and 2

I arrived 7am early Thursday morning to Melbourne, and made my way to my friend, Melody's apartment along Swanston street. I was greeted by a cheerful and friendly face (albeit sleepy :p), and introduced to the warm, cosy apartment where I would be spending my next few nights in!
Exhausted, I took a short nap, after which, I met her housemate, Amanda, who was equally friendly and welcoming. They brought my to St. Kilda's Beach, where I had a sumptous lunch of fish and chips, and ate delicious chocolate cake and Polish cheesecake for dessert at one of the many dessert shops along the street. I even took a picture with the beautiful waitress!




On our way back, we stopped by the State Library, and ate at a Japanese Restaurant.

On the second day, they brought me to St. Pauls Cathedral and Fitzroy Gardens, which was absolutely beautiful, and had historic cottages, magnificent ancient oaks and pines, and cute little fairy houses. Wonderful place.

Melbourne (cont..)

*Melody and Amanda, the two lovely, hospitable and kind ladies, letting me put up at their place, having long 3am chats about almost everything, from relationships to the Mr Brown Show, and giving me stacks of books to counter any boredom I might have, including Blankets (by Craig Thompson), which was a superb book-- very poetic, romantic, and touching.

Good Day!

Today (tuesday) was a good day! Went to cut my hair at Toni&Guy in the morning, and got myself pampered to a hairwash (with extra conditioning!) :p

In the afternoon, went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest with Aya and Kris. It was a good show with fantastic special effects, lots of action, and pirate-d humour (oh har-har).

Also received my MMI results in the late morning, and I got 73 (credit) for it! Am really relieved to have passed it and gotten 6 credits for my electives, because I neglected MMI for medicine revision during the study week and exam period, that I thought I was going to fail it. Thank God, cos I prayed really hard the day before the exam (and slept at 6am as well, thanks to last minute revision cramming)

Good Day! Happy.

Off to Melbourne this wednesday evening! Going to visit all my friends there, and catchup with them. Yay, am excited.

Holidays Update Part 2

On Sunday morning, I went to Ingle Farm Community Church in Ingle Farm, which was about 35mins bus ride away. I was cordially invited to attend the service there by my coursemate Sara, and was really excited to see how it was. The function room it was held in was nice and cosy, and the people were really friendly. There were alot of children running around as well, looking ever so cute and adorable! After the service, I went to try out on their keyboard, and had lots of fun playing church songs. A really refreshing experience, considering I was really scared that morning, because I was going there alone, and didn't know anyone else except Sara.

That evening, I invited the remaining survivors (Singaporeans that were 'left behind'!! heh) to come over for dinner, and cooked fried rice and pasta for them. Bruce, Aya, Lee Ping, Kristin, Jamie and Joanna came over, and we had great fun eating, watching Pirates, playing mahjong, chatting, playing Texams Hold'em, and savouring the delicious Tiramisu ice-cream Joanna brought over. Yum yum. Fun day :)

Watched world cup that morning, and Italy won! (But on penalties...) Was really really sleeeppyy after that... zzZZzz...




The next day, I went to habourtown with Lee Ping and Kristin, watching the girls in dynamic shopping-action was truely an amazing sight. They moved swiftly from store to store, glancing through the clothings and accessories with unrivaled speed. They homed in on trendy dresses, beautiful tops and funky shoes/boots with uncanny accuracy, leaving those who had witnessed the event (namely, me) simply breathless.

Aquinas day

Today, I invited all the Aquinas people over for lunch: my delicious fried rice!! (ask them, it really was delicious hee hee). James, WoonLeong, Hay and Joel came, and after feasting on the main course, which I tediously laboured for 2 hours in the morning to cook up, we headed upstairs to watch abit of MTVs on the com, and for a nice chat.

Played the organ at the Church of the Holy Name in the evening, and managed to meet Beatrice's parents, who came over from Malaysia for a holiday. Can't wait for tomorrow, World Cup Finals, Italy vs France!

*pics of my cooking :p

Holiday fun!

Ryan a.k.a. Ah Kiam, my Hwa Chong schoolmate, BMT section mate, and currently studying at La Trobe in Melbourne, came to Adelaide just yesterday! They're staying at Annie's Place along Franklin Street. I met up with him and his girlfriend, June, and we had lunch at Noodlelicious along Rundle, and drove them around the city to show him Central Market, the Cathedrals, and Victoria Square.

In the evening, we were invited to Kristin's place, where she and Leeping cooked up a huge feast for us, with dishes such as curry and fried chicken and more! Thanks alot to both of them for the delicious meal. We had Champagne and wine, and Ryan was entertaining us with his medical history of Hernias and AS, sparking much interest amongst us medical students. After a lively discussion of government politics, medical terminology, and other stuff, they went back to their backpackers inn for the night.

The next afternoon, I went for a jog with Leeping on the Torrens River route, and went all the way to the dam that Theodore was talking about last year! Wow, the scenery there is quite nice, I'm gonna explore that area in more detail in the future.

The start of my holidays!

Finally, exams are over, and the holidays have begun! Had a massive 8hour-cramp-the-whole-semester's-workload-session before my last paper for Microbio and Immunology last Thursday morning, before I slept at 6am, and got up an hour later to go for the exam. zzZZzz. Extremely draining.

Fang's birthday dinner at City Zen, a chinese restaurant in the city, was a great start to the holidays. Had a fun chat with everyone, and it was good to see them again, after the long study break and exam period.

Over the weekend, many people flew back to Singapore, including *ahem-naming-guity-parties-time* Eugene, Youwen, Lam, Fang! Hope they're having fun in Singapore, eating their pratas and chilli crabs.

I bought a new Olympus camera on Sunday, yay! More photos will be posted up as soon as I get the battery charged. (Yep, I've noticed the blog being devoid of photos for the past few months)
Yesterday, I played at a church memorial service, for a parishoner who passed away a few months ago. Since it was informal, I brought my keyboard to the church instead of using their organ, and it sounded amazing! Am very happy about it, and hope the other people enjoyed the songs.

If I had one wish...

If I had one wish, I would wish to be happy and satisfied with everything I have. In that way, I wouldn't have to wish for anything else!
No point wishing that things would've turned out differently, or wishing that I could turn back time and try again. No point wishing our situations were different, and that we would be together again, just like before.

No point wishing for anything, actually, because wishing is addictive. More is never enough.

I thought I was in wonderland, but in reality, I was in a fairytale woven with your lies, of deceitful promises of eternity. You didn't even bother to hold on.

Real love stories never have happy endings, because real love story never end.